About Me

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Early morning and sometimes late night coffee drinking, poetry writing, self help/inspirational book reading, traveling, soul music listening, soul food cooking, shoe loving, occasional gaming(you take your pick), picture taking (both) knowledge soaking- mother of 2, long-term partner of one, niece, cousin and friend to many-sister like friend to only a few- outstanding at problem solving and organizing, smile making while being compassionate and always loyal to who? YOU…

Tuesday, August 26, 2008

A Cricket Outside Of My Window

There's a cricket outside of my window

Did you know crickets make four different chirping songs
I learned this today while I was trying to watch Oprah

  1. Very loud - female calling on her male( wish it was easy)

  2. Low sound- female is near and male are trying to court her ( work it girl)

  3. Loud aggressive- male on male battle/sense another male is near (all species)

  4. Short sound- after the sperm settles on the female eggs ( like reaching for a cigarette)
It had to be number four because I stopped and turned my head toward the window because I could not hear a thing Oprah was saying. Then it stopped. Then it began all over again loud as ever. I turned around a few time because I wasn't sure if it was sitting on my shoulder. It went for at least 30 seconds at a time.

Oh by the way crickets don't rub there hind leg together but instead the male have this thick vein with 50-300 ridges. Oh this is only a male thing female were not blessed with the large thick vein. They rub that against the upper edge of the forewing and that creates the stridulation and the song, which varies depending on the species.

No I did not know this but the cricket outside my window intrigued me to really understand the madness of this noise, I mean sound/song. All I really want to do was watch the rerun of Oprah.

I need help!!!

I was so pissed today but I really wasnt trying to be
I let one thing slide, ok not really slide it lasted bout 4 hrs
but the she added and added like I was her bank account
Ok dealt with it- tried to move on

Then he pissed me off
I am better because I know
but tried to stop the energy
but it kept pulling me back
I failed because and let him cash his check
he didn't have any money in his bank account
and overdrawn me
and ached my head

Ok dealt with and - tried to move on

Did I really provide too little information
Ok- lets say I did
Did your light turn on at all
You did nothing
but want everything

I'm dealing with it like this
please help me help myself
so I can help
those who I love
those who dont know any better
those who really want more
because sometimes
don't understand
but I really want to

Monday, August 25, 2008

I'm Back

It seems like I have not posted anything in so long- well I guess I haven't, but I've been writing- just in my journal. I tried taking something from my journal and expanding to sharing it- but my thoughts were all over the place and my journal entries reflect just that. This post seems to be going in that direction and I thought I had control over it.

Today I just need to get my thoughts out of my head so I can see what’s going on. I've been up since 4:30 and I didn't go to the gym(terrible) for some reason I feel as if I am losing focus on what my goals are- I am not sure if I have a hand on it so I need to begin with my list- Yes, me and my lists to get things done. If I don't have a plan then nothing happens and I waste time trying to figure out what to do- then when it's not done I waste time thinking about why I didn't do it. I begin school on Wednesday the kids begin on Tuesday the 2nd, with that said I need to focus and stop wasting precious time- What time- this weekend I spent a great deal of time deleting and recreating my ITunes- yup I deleted over 2000 songs but I kept screwing it up and had 7750 songs- I had triplicates of my library. I was so frustrated, I deleted everything – I did this on Saturday night, Sunday morning and evening. I’m still working on it. This is why I need my list to guide me. Of course I had other well thought out things do but I allowed ITunes to take over. Like I found a cool website

Net worthIQ and I will be posting my net worth (I think).

Will I be able to show my debts and saving to the public? On the other hand this may help me boost my worth by paying off debt and increasing my savings/wealth. Who knows but I will post my list- so I can follow it. Hope you guys don't mind but I need some help here trying to find my better life.

Tuesday, August 19, 2008

Increased Graduation Rates=More Time

Their Solution

The NYS Board of Regents realized the NYC public school children need more time to graduate. I am a little confused- I read an article explaining how graduation rate increased but, NY High School Need More Time to Graduate. Officials believe our kids need anywhere from 5-6 years to include summer school and longer school hours to graduate from high school. The graduation rate in NY is increasing because kids are spending 5-6 years in high school – am I missing something?

The Issue

I want to say here we go again changing policies and accepting abnormal behaviors to increase numbers to make it right. In a few years studies will show that keeping high school student for seven or eight years is the answer and help give our graduation rate another boost. What about college? If high school is extended how does this effect college? Does anyone agree with me when I say this is the wrong message we are sending to our children- its ok to be a high school graduate at 21. Should I just focus on the fact that the graduation rate has increased?
There was a ten year period where graduation rates did not increase- maybe it has something to do with the structure of the school system. Many years ago when I was in school the elementary schools were grades K-6th, middle school were grades 7th - 9th and high school were grades 10th -12th. I’m not sure the reason for the change in structure and maybe that is the reason for extended high school years.

Can you imagine a 6th grader who is 11 years old in the same school as a 13 year old 8th grader? It seems as if the maturity levels are not compatible with the grading or education system. It seems to me the extra years the Regent Board gives is the same years they took away in the beginning. My daughter first year of high school was last year and she was 14 yrs old, in her school there were students who were in their fifth or six year of high school. She was in school with kids who were 18-19 years old. Wow, the thought is very scary.


To sum this up we are forcing our kids to mature at a faster rate, but we are not providing education at the same rate, but instead we give them move to learn. I wonder what are their counterparts around the country are doing.

My Solution

Maybe the mandatory age to begin school should be at 4.5 years old.

Monday, August 18, 2008

Guns & Thoughts

(written 6/18/2008)

I went to a shooting range in the Pocono Mountains
All you need is a driver's license and you too can shoot
I was given the mandatory attire
Ready with my glasses, ear protectors, shorts, cute tank and flip-flops
We walk through the layers of shell casings
To the guys at the end
Come with me said the cowboy
“Have you shot before” I had to lift my protectors to hear
I say no and smile
The loud bangs one after another makes me jump
Each bullet carrying the weight of many guns
I get chills
I wonder if the protectors are working
My hands are cupping over my ears
I am still jumping
We are standing in an open wooden booth
The sides is where the keep the pistols locked to the walls
In front is the paper target with the string to bring it to and fro
Behind that is a big dirt hill
Filled with cute big teddies pink, blue and white and things that look like bowling pins
These are the targets
My honey wants to go big
We start with the baby dessert eagle
I tell him to go first
Above is black and white photo of the movie Natural Born Killers
There I am shooting and jumping
It was so fast
With a tap
Not the entire finger because that makes the gun go left
Just the tip
I try to relax
Everyone’s shots make me jump
The gun powder smell like a million farts at once
My hands are covered with something like talc
They sink
Keep your eye on the target
Not your finger or the gun
Before you know it’s over
I hit dead center mass
I moved the target
Hit it twice while the target moved
Watch out for her
Better not piss her off
Then I think
Can’t shoot a body like mine
Or a cute cuddly animal either
I think
50 shots
Who can do that?
50 shots
To another being
50 shots

A murder
A thin line between cops and criminals
Who is who?
50 shots

RIP Sean Bell

Negotiate Your Money Back

Do you negotiate anything? Well I will negotiate just about any and everything. Sometimes it only takes a matter of moments other times it can take a day, two or even 30- I believe it is always worth it. This morning I called my loyal banker- well he’s not really my banker but he is the supervisor who works at my bank’s branch near my home. A few weeks ago I called him once I realized I had a bank charge for non-sufficient funds (I thought those days were over), but really this time it was not my fault- maybe it was. I made an electronic payment on my credit card and the funds did not clear yet (#$%@). So I called John and explained to him I don’t know what happened and if he would explain where I went wrong. He began going over my account and wondered aloud why I didn’t I have free checking. I said, I thought I did. He began with something about I was grandfathered into this account and he will change it for me. That was when a light bulb went on and said, “I was under the impression that my account was free for all these years, blah blah blah. Long story short I was credited $84.00 into my account since I was not too much of my time and I don’t feel that it was wasted. That may not seem like much money but for me every penny counts.

I then called my credit card company and explained the huge mix-up and was told to call back in a few days after the account updates. This took less than 3 minutes. I was lucky this was not a late fee but the $39 return check fee hurt just the same. I marked my calendar and called back and spoke to a customer representative who immediately told me there was nothing that could be done to credit my account. I politely requested to speak with a supervisor. The representative sternly reminded me that a supervisor’s response would be the same. I said ok, but insisted that I would still like to speak with a supervisor. I briefly explained to the supervisor that this was not a due payment but an extra payment to the account, not to mention (but I did) that my bank account is with the same bank as the credit card company. The supervisor explained as a courtesy this $39.00 fee will be waived this time. The call was 5 minutes or less.

Some may feel time is of the essence and it is so precious that it can’t be wasted trying to make a few dollars or save a few dollars. I received a total credit of $123.00. If you think about all the extra fees and charges that can be lowered, credited or saved at the end you can save for something or splurge on the much wanted item, after all it only takes a few moments.

Thursday, August 14, 2008

Pain in My Eye

Yesterday I had this pain in my eye
It was an excruciating pain that almost drove me to the emergency room
It was like a tiny pointy pin magnetic in my eye pulling it shut
I walked home with one eye open and the other shut (I would have loved to be a passerby to see that one)
I took out my lens, flushed it and made a homemade patch
Didn’t want to use a vacation day to visit the doctor
Today I went to work
And the eye wasn’t so bad nor was my day

I called my doctor to find out who would see me and everyone I spoke to on the phone was very helpful. I was present during the conversations and I didn’t cut them off while they were speaking. I listened with my ears and my mind meaning (I needed answers). I didn’t allow my mind to think about what I am going to eat for lunch or what if I there are no available appointments (like we tend to do). I received the services I expected and everything went perfect.

On my way to the doctor is began to rain and I asked a total stranger if I can get under their umbrella just for a few blocks and again- I thought this through in a positive manner before I asked and it happened. I am a firm believer that if you think the way you want is to happen then it will. I also believe when you fill your mind with negative thoughts they multiply and it can bring a negative actions.
I am working on this every day. We say we don’t want something to happen but we give it all our energy and at times more energy than the things we want in our lives. We have got to change our thinking patterns. This is not to say that negative thoughts will never happen but when they do just be aware of it and how it makes you feel and try changing it to a positive thought. You will find that more positive brings on more positive.

Oh my eye it’s much better just have to stop wearing my contact lens for a while to give my eye more oxygen.

Compassion & Understanding

When do you show compassion & understanding?

Scenario 1

You are walking down the street and this woman bumps you so hard it almost knocks you to the ground and without turning around she yells, “Sorry” and keeps moving.
What is your reaction?

Here is mine

Past - I would have a sour look on my face and probably curse or yell some obscenities and called my friends to tell them what happened and to whomever else would listen. I would have been upset.
Present-I would’ve tried to move out of her way so that I wouldn’t get pushed and kept it moving. (How many times do you see the push before is comes and still get mad because you felt you shouldn’t have to move)

Scenario 2

You are walking down the street and this woman bumps you so hard it almost knocks you to the ground and she turns around with tears in her eyes, but doesn't say sorry.

What is your reaction?

Past-I would have a sour look on my face but when I would have noticed the tears I may have turned around and kept walking and maybe mumbled to myself.

Present-I would’ve brushed it off and kept moving.

For most of us scenario 1 would make us upset, angry and mad all at once. Why? Is it because we have taken this bump personally? How can a stranger we may never see again have so much control over us? See how when you don’t control our emotions and thoughts we allow space for someone else to do it.

Where am I going with this- We need to have compassion and understanding without hearing or seeing the story/reasons. Have you ever notice that once you hear the reason then you understand and in a matter of seconds your emotion shifts. Our lives would be so much calmer if we could live with understanding and compassion. I know this is not an easy thing but what is easy. In the long run it makes a better you and you are what are important, right? So the next time you see the token booth clerk who looks pissed - have some compassion and understanding. You never know what their story is, maybe this is there 2nd shift, or they just received an eviction notice or their cat croaked, but who cares what the story is just understand it’s not personal. How can it be?

Besides do you think the token booth clerk really doesn’t like you? What make you so special that out of hundreds of people you are the one? What makes the token booth clerk so special that you allow their actions to control your emotions and your thoughts throughout the day?

Make today the day where you have compassion and understanding for a total stranger. Then think about the how you felt at the moment. What do you have to lose? What do you have to gain? Steps into becoming a better you!!

How far you go in life depends on your being tender with the young,
compassionate with the aged, sympathetic with the striving and tolerant of the
weak and strong. Because someday in your life you will have been all of

George Washington Carver

Tuesday, August 12, 2008

Grand Opening!! FREE

Yorganic is having a Grand Opening Today

w/Free Frozen Yogurt w/1 topping from 12p- 4p

3 Hanover Square ( right near Underground Pizza)

New York NY 10004 212-968-9700

Let’s Welcome them to the neighborhood!!

yor-gan-ic- adjective/verb/noun Natural frozen yogurt made with 100% organic milk layered with fresh organic toppings served in econtainers

Monday, August 11, 2008

Isaac Hayes & Bernie Mac

On August 10, 2008 Isaac Hayes was discovered unconscious near his treadmill by his wife. Mr. Hayes was 65 at the time of his death. He leaves behind 12 children from four marriages.
Mr. Hayes was best known for this soundtrack to the movie Shaft the album was the first record by a solo black artist to reach the top of both the R&B and Pop charts, winning an Academy Award for Best Original Song and landing three Grammy Award and a Golden Globe. He starred in over 30 movies to include the South Park show as "Chef". His music has been sampled by many hip hop artists to name a few Snoop Dogg and Biggie Smalls.

To another fallen soul Bernie Mac who died early Saturday morning with his wife of 30 years and their 30 year old daughter by his side as doctors made several attempts to revive him. It was reported that Bernie Mac's inflammatory lung disease contributed to his death. "He had sarcoidosis, but it was in remission.

Ironically both of men will be starring side by side in a movie 'Soul Men', which is due to be released in November 2008.

They will truly be missed and their contributions much appreciated!

Sunday, August 10, 2008

Relive a Single Day

If you could relive one single day from your past exactly as it was the first time (no changes), what day would you choose to relive all over again? Why?

Friday, August 8, 2008

Thank You Audre Lorde

heard something

Heard something to empower
Me made me
Feel good and fearless
Gave me chills-Good Lorde
Dig she said to the deepness of the belly
Where I ain’t ever been
But the chills had me wanting more
Wanting to go deep I say travel to my soul
To reach yours
Way down way down
And keep going
To the my end or the beginning
I want to spend some time
In the heart
Nuff will come from there
Wanna open the valves they said was weak
Let it flow to my song no pulses here just
Boom bap boom bap- hum to my flow
I’m controlling this here orchestra
Then reach up to the cabeza- whatcha said
I think thoughts that think of me as the shit
My learning’s are yearning to surface
I’m a pull and tug
Because I got something to say
I wanna hear you own my words
Speak them for your lips
Make chills on your skin
Leaving by filling this world with my ink
On what I think and thought
Oh shit- I got chills

My Perfect Morning

My perfect morning would be the following:

  • 4:40 am wake up to go the the gym (gym opens at 5:00)

  • 5:45 return from the gym and shower for work

  • 6:00 make coffee to drink now and one for my commute

  • 6:05 morning writing and check my ebay site

  • 6:15 Jr wakes up(10 yr old son)

  • 6:20 prepare his breakfest and iron his clothes

  • 6:25 Jr gets dressed then eats breakfest

  • 6:30 Do my hair, get dressed & Shani wakes up(my 15 yr old daugther)

  • 6:50 feed Rudy (my iguana)

  • 6:55 chit chat with Shani (my 15 year old) while I pack my lunch

  • 7:05 do a walk through the house making sure everything is off and heat up my coffee

  • 7:10 walk out the door

  • 7:15 on the bus headed to the subway station to go to work

This is my perfect morning. When my mornings go as planned my day floats by smooth as can be. There are times when something my not go as planned and those days are now floating as well. I'm learning that it's my choice what type of day I want and although I may not get to the gym as often as I like or maybe I didn't write in the morning or I had to deal with some other crap that I was'nt expecting. I'm learning to accept, embrace and move on because I get to do it all over tomorrow.

"Finish each day and be done with it. You have done what you could; some blunders and absurdities have crept in; forget them as soon as you can. Tomorrow is a new day; you shall begin it serenely and with too high a spirit to be encumbered with your oldnonsense." --Ralph Waldo Emerson

Thursday, August 7, 2008

See Something Say Something

I seen something, my son
Just went under the turnstile
Because I don’t believe NYC
Students should have to pay
For the subway or buses
Yeah I know – he did have
A student metrocard but his
Ten year old hands lost
It and guess what his mother
Pays taxes- so back up I
Seen something else, me
Drinking my morning coffee
On the train- yup that’s
Against the law and you know
What it tastes good
Don’t worry I won’t litter
The coffee is too expensive
And too good for that and I seen
A lady a big lady
Too big for one seat
Yeah that’s against the law too
One fare=one seat
So whatcha gonna do
Mr. Officer- I seen the teenage girl
And her little brother selling M &M, Skittles
And Snickers no not for their school basketball team
But to eat
Yes, all of this is going on under the grounds
Of your NYC
I seen something else
You using a decoy bag to grab the
Temptation of some hungry teenage girl
And her little brother who probably
Didn’t sell enough candy for dinner tonight
I seen something else hundreds of people
With large bags, small bags all kinds of bags
Walk pass seven officers
Who are paid by me
With a sign “we have the right to
randomly search your bags”
But they were too busy for that
Talking, laughing and drinking coffee
I seen something else me walking up the
Broken escalator pissed on my way to work
To pay you to do nothing
I said something

What was the last thing you seen? Did you say something? Well say it now!

Wednesday, August 6, 2008

Learn To Accept the Things You Can't Change

Today is my first day blogging but not reading- during my commute usually read and what I read today was perfect. It couldn't have played out any better. I rained oh it rained but as I was reading the chapter " a penny for your thoughts" and it reflected on negative thinking and how we are in control of what we choose to think and to pay attention to what you think. So I began to think and with ease negative thoughts arose- it was raining and I using public transportation. I was in a very uncomfortable situation. My mind was ready to take off, suddenly I stopped it and gained control. It was almost funny because I was on the bus trying to think positive- then it dawned on me the bus was on time and I am not in the rain anymore. When I got off the bus lo and behold it stopped raining. My train ride was not normal for a rainy day because it was smooth sailing- all this is happening while I was reading. Then an announcement was made the train was out of service and this was the final stop. I was not upset one bit, I calmly grabbed my belongings got off the train, but without thinking hesitation I took another train line that was closer to my job and I arrived to work the same time as normal.

This is to say my reading reinforced what I already knew -DO NOT FRET OVER THINGS YOU HAVE NO CONTROL OVER. Simply accept the present situation and embrace it. If I wasn't there to witness I may not believe. My day was wonderful and guess the choice is up to me to choose what kind of day I will have tomorrow.